The cult sees the benefits of having a labour force they can exploit. Once they get round those pesky labour laws.
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The cult plan to tap into the free and unlimited water supply found in the sky by worshipping a rain god. That or they’ll just harness the power of the clouds through science. Whichever is the simplest.
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The cult is in want of a wife. One that’s extremely loyal, devoted, and can calm a bloodthirsty mob. The more wives the better really.
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The cult attempts to enchant new followers through the magic of performance poetry. And FYI, proper poetry doesn’t actually have to rhyme.
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The cult proves what good Samaritans they are by helping the needy. And sometimes the needy can be racist perverts.
coming 3rd April 2025
The cult owes back rent. The only logical solution is to sell dated pornography and humus prepared on doors, for added authenticity.
coming 10th April 205
The cult attempts a blood sacrifice to appease a god. Once they agree on the god. And what to sacrifice. And have an alter. And don’t offend any Satanists.
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The cult looks to become the next tech gods and grow fellowship via the internet. But the internet can be a cruel place. Especially if you don't understand how it works. And can’t spell.
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The cult can’t agree on if a once in a lifetime comet is a spaceship or a ball of sentient light. Either way, only the worthy shall be chosen to travel to a new dimension. Dress code: space overalls, no dungarees, pants mandatory.
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The cult knows the secret to unlocking the pleasure spirits trapped in us all. But it is definitely not a sex cult. The posters were very clear about that.
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The cult takes a road trip to a well that appeared in a vision. And a vision is very different from a thought. Just so we’re clear.
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The cult tries their hand at breatharianism; the ability to live on air alone. Plus a side of sungazing for a well rounded diet.
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